What should I do if I hear remarks implying self-harm?

If you hear remarks hinting at self-harm, the first thing HR representatives and managers should do is immediately verify safety, not suggest counseling. If an employee says things like, "I want to die," "I want to disappear," or "I can't bear it anymore," do not dismiss these as jokes or temporary emotions; instead, you must verify whether they are currently alone, in a safe place, and in a situation where immediate external help is needed. This article summarizes the response procedures, practical checklists, and EAP linkage criteria that HR must verify when encountering remarks hinting at self-harm.

short answer

If you hear remarks suggesting self-harm, the first thing you must do is check if they are currently safe.

It can be dangerous if HR or managers respond by judging or downplaying the situation, asking questions like, "Do you really intend to do that?", "It will be okay," or saying, "Everyone is having a hard time." Rather than assuming the employee's intentions, you must verify whether they are currently alone, reachable, in a safe location, and if there is any immediate suspicion of danger.

If there is a suspected urgent risk of self-harm or harm to others, you should not stop at merely providing EAP counseling guidance. You must first consider connecting to external crisis resources that can provide immediate help, such as 112, 119, or the suicide prevention hotline 109.

EAP is an important support channel in crisis situations, but it does not replace emergency rescue or emergency response. It is appropriate to design the system to lead to EAP counseling, consultations with health managers, job adjustments, return-to-work support, and manager coaching once the risk has been immediately reduced.

When will it be applied?

If the following statements or behaviors are confirmed, the procedure for responding to remarks suggesting self-harm must be applied.

Cases where direct expressions such as “I want to die,” “I want to disappear,” or “I can’t bear it anymore” are used
Cases where expressions implying danger appear, such as “I think it would be easier if I disappeared” or “I want to end this now.”
If messenger, email, post, or text message containing extreme expressions is confirmed
Cases where contact is suddenly lost after a crisis statement
Cases where long-term absence, unauthorized absence, abrupt abandonment of work, and behaviors to tidy up the surroundings occur together
Cases involving workplace harassment, disciplinary action, dismissal, accidents, death, verbal abuse by customers, or dangerous remarks made following a serious conflict

In this case, HR's role is not to diagnose the employee's condition. HR must record verified statements and behaviors as observed facts and coordinate to ensure safety is verified and appropriate resource connections are made.

What HR Managers Should Do

HR personnel who encounter remarks implying self-harm should respond in the following order.

Check if you are currently available to contact.
Check if you are alone right now.
Check if you are currently in a safe place.
Immediately check if there is a suspected risk.
Share with managers, health managers, and in-house crisis response personnel to the extent necessary.
If an emergency risk is suspected, we consider connecting to external crisis resources such as 112, 119, and the suicide prevention hotline 109.
Once safety is ensured, we will provide guidance on EAP counseling, consultations with the health manager, work adjustments, and return-to-work support.
All records are based on observed facts rather than diagnoses.

For example, rather than recording “appears to be depressed,” you should record based on actual confirmed statements, such as “leaving a message on the team messenger at 2 PM saying ‘I can’t hold out any longer,’ then not attending the meeting and being unreachable.”

Example of administrator response text

Managers should focus on safety verification and acting as a connector, rather than trying to persuade members or provide psychological counseling on their behalf.

Expressions to avoid	Recommended expressions
You're joking, right?	I will not take those words lightly.
Everyone is having a hard time.	Safety verification comes first right now.
It will be okay.	Are you alone right now?
It’s not because of work, is it?	I will check to make sure you are currently in a safe place.
I'll take care of it.	We will connect you with the necessary assistance in collaboration with HR and health managers.
You shouldn't say that.	I will connect you so you can receive help right now.

In a crisis, even well-intentioned words can be perceived as pressure by team members. Managers should focus on ensuring safety and connecting, rather than evaluating, interrogating, comforting, or persuading.

Practical Checklist

Confirmation items	Things to prepare	check
Current situation	Time of statement, content of statement, current availability for contact	☐
Safety check	Whether you are alone, in a safe place, or in immediate danger	☐
Internal report	Verify HR, Health Manager, and Manager reporting paths	☐
External resources	Check connection criteria for 112, 119, and the suicide prevention hotline 109	☐
Recording method	Record based on observations rather than diagnoses	☐
Information sharing	Minimize the scope of sharing sensitive member information	☐
EAP linkage	Check if consultation guidance is available after ensuring safety.	☐
Return support	Review of adjustments to workload, overtime, customer service, and high-risk tasks	☐
Administrator Support	Check whether manager coaching or response guides are provided	☐
Follow-up inspection	Review schedule for 1-week and 4-week follow-up interviews or counseling	☐

Common mistakes

The most common mistake is dismissing remarks hinting at self-harm as a “joke,” “passive emotion,” or “attention-seeking.” It is important to activate safety verification and connection procedures first, rather than having HR determine the actual risk on its own.

The second mistake is ending the response after merely guiding the individual to EAP counseling. While EAP is an important support channel, it cannot replace emergency rescue or emergency response in situations where immediate danger is suspected. It is appropriate to connect the individual to EAP counseling only after safety has been ensured.

The third mistake is mixing counseling content with company records. In principle, the confidentiality of EAP counseling content is critical, and it must be managed separately from company personnel records or evaluation data. If counseling confidentiality is compromised, employees may be reluctant to use counseling when they genuinely need help.

If EAP support is needed

EAP is not an agency that handles the entire situation immediately after hearing self-harm-hinting remarks. However, once safety is ensured, it can be utilized for the following support:

Member psychological counseling referral
Counseling support before and after return
Work adaptation and stress management counseling
Crisis response coaching for managers
Alleviating the psychological burden on the informant and colleagues
Team-based stabilization guidance
Providing a guide to post-crisis organizational communication
Organizational diagnosis of a department with recurring warning signs

The key is not to view the EAP as a standalone solution, but to operate it in a way that connects external crisis resources, internal reporting systems, the role of health managers, and the return-to-work support system.

Useful information to prepare before making an inquiry

Before inquiring about EAP implementation or crisis response systems, organizing the following information can help the consultation proceed more specifically.

item	Things to prepare
Organizational Information	Industry, workforce size, work type
Current situation	Types of crisis statements, frequency of occurrence, and reporting channels
Existing procedures	HR, Health Manager, Manager Response Standards
External resources	Whether 112, 119, and 109 are based on connection criteria
Consultation Channel	Existing EAP, in-house counseling, and external counseling agency operation status
Information Management	Criteria for Separating Counseling Content and Personnel Records
Return support	Need for job reorganization, follow-up meetings, and manager coaching

Frequently Asked Questions

Q1. What should you do first if an employee makes remarks implying self-harm?

You must check if you are currently alone, in a safe place, and if you suspect immediate danger. If you suspect an emergency danger, your priority is to connect immediately to an organization that can provide assistance, such as 112, 119, or the suicide prevention hotline 109.

Q2. Can I connect directly to EAP counseling?

You may refer a patient for EAP counseling once the immediate risk is low or safety is ensured. However, in situations where immediate risk is suspected, you must not terminate the discussion after merely referring a patient for EAP counseling. You must review external crisis resources and internal emergency procedures together.

Q3. What should managers avoid saying?

You should avoid expressions that downplay the situation or assign blame, such as “You’re joking, right?”, “Everyone is having a hard time,” “It’s not because of work, is it?”, or “It will be fine.” Instead, it is better to speak in a action-oriented manner, such as “Safety comes first right now,” “Are you alone?”, or “I will connect you with help.”

Q4. Are EAP counseling details shared with the company?

In principle, EAP counseling content should be operated in a manner where it is not shared with the company. However, in cases involving urgent life or safety risks, necessary protective measures may be reviewed in accordance with actual operational policies and relevant standards; therefore, it is advisable to verify the company's confidentiality and crisis response standards in advance.

Q5. What should I check after returning?

Upon returning, it is recommended to review workload, overtime, customer interactions, assignment to high-risk tasks, manager meeting frequency, EAP counseling guidance, and 1-week and 4-week follow-up check-up schedules. Return support is not merely a verification of attendance, but a process of checking the conditions to ensure stable work performance again.

Next step

Organizations that encounter remarks hinting at self-harm should not stop their response at merely providing counseling guidance. They must organize the process into a single flow that includes safety checks, connecting to emergency resources, EAP counseling, return-to-work support, and manager training.

If you need to design response standards for self-harm-hinting remarks, manager response phrases, EAP counseling coordination, and a return-to-work support system together at the organizational level Nudge EAP Implementation Consultation Review the operating methods that suit our organization through this.

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If there is an urgent risk of self-harm or harm to others, the priority is to connect immediately to an organization that can provide assistance, such as 112, 119, or the suicide prevention hotline 109.

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This content is intended for general informational purposes. Specific legal, labor, medical, and psychological counseling matters may vary depending on the situation and may require review by a relevant expert.

Suicide Prevention & Mental Health